To Let Love In
by Lucy Maria Elmer
Summary: Helping Mary to find peace has left Lona Massingale with a difficult decision to make...
1. Chapter 1

**To Let Love In,**

Ashleigh, Sam, Lizzy and Mary Rose are mine but as for the rest they belong to the wonderful Stephen King and the Kingdom Hospital team. Please don't sue me. I'm just a poor student playing in the Kingdom for a while J

Lona Massingale sat in the sleep lab lost deeply in her thoughts. It had been four weeks since she and the others had helped to save the hospital from its preordained fate, since they had saved little Mary from her tormented entrapment in an unquestionably hellish purgatory and since Peter Rickman had walked out of the hospital where the resident spirits had claimed a hold on him for the entire time he had lay badly injured and barely conscious in Intensive Care. It had been a time of celebration, also of disbelief at what all had experienced within those last few haunted days before the hospital had been given a new lease of life. It had been a time where people had become forever changed and their lives turned upside down. She now was one of those people.

Lona leaned back in her chair, looking up at the ceiling and blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill from her burning eyes. She had come here to think, to revel in the silence somewhere familiar to her and somewhat comforting. She had needed to get away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the hospital, many of whose residents were not even aware of the little girl that had been haunting its corridors for years, her torment causing the earthquakes that had nearly brought the hospital to its knees. Now being left only with her thoughts; part of her felt that it had been a bad decision to come here. At least the hustle and bustle was a distraction from the situation that was bringing tears to her eyes and an ache to her heart. Now it was all that she could think about and she was damned if she knew what to do for the best.

Finally succumbing to the tears that had been threatening to fall all morning Lona rested her head in her hands on the desk in front of her and let herself cry. Sobs overcame her as she thought of what was to come that afternoon; of the choice that she had made since she had held that piece of plastic in her hands seven days ago in the hospitals grimy toilets feeling more alone than she had ever felt in her life. It was for the best though wasn't it? The only decision that could be made. Neither of them were in any position to...She had no choice did she? And there was no point in telling him about something that she could never let be. She couldn't hurt him like that. Whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not she cared about him too much.

So caught up was she in her own thoughts that she didn't hear the door to the lab open. It was only when she felt a hand rest gently on her shoulder and give it a comforting squeeze that she realized someone had entered the room, and that someone had seen her at her most vulnerable.

Lona quickly wiped her eyes and brushed the tears away from her cheeks.

"Lona?" A voice said softly, rubbing her back in soothing circular motions which caused her to break down again due to the sheer amount of concern that she heard in it and the offer of comfort when she had allowed herself none since the day that changed not just Mary's life but hers also.

"I'm okay, I'm just tired." She lied looking up at the person standing at her side and noting it was Christine Draper, Hooks girlfriend and a talented Doctor who had aided Mrs Druse, Peter, Hook, Abel, Christa and Elmer in saving the ghost children from the deadly fire which had in a time before cost them all their young lives. The two had become firm friends since the day of the séance. Even then Lona had not been able to tell Christine what had been on her mind for the last week, nor the reason why she had become sick to her stomach in trauma and had to leave and go and lie down.

"You look more than tired. You're white as a sheet. You feeling okay?" Christine asked, pulling up a chair next to her friend and taking in her appearance with piercing and concerned but friendly eyes. She held up her hand to Lona's forehead feeling for a temperature. The older woman couldn't help but smile as she swatted her friends hand away.

"I'm fine. Honestly." Lona replied, noting the disbelief on Christine's face and knowing that if she had been in the other Doctors shoes she wouldn't have believed her either.

"An okay person wouldn't be sat here in the dark as pale as a ghost and crying. Spill it Massingale, and it better be good because you missed our coffee date and I don't take being stood up particularly well. Just ask Hook." Christine told her with a smile.

"Oh God. I completely forgot. I'm so sorry." Lona apologised and felt herself tear up again. Damn hormones she thought to herself as a fresh tear rolled down her cheek.

"Yeah you're really okay aren't you?" Chris muttered pulling a tissue loose from a box by the computer console in front of them and handing it to her friend.

Lona took it gratefully and gave her friend a small smile.

"Everything's such a mess." Lona whispered wiping her eyes and leaning back in the chair. "And it's all because of that man...not even man, child!" Lona added angrily, guilt eating away at her as soon as those words came out of her mouth.

"Are you talking about Elmer?" Christine asked.

Lona's expression softened and she nodded.

"What gave it away?" She asked and both women smiled.

"What's he done now? I thought he was avoiding you." Chris commented thinking back to the day a couple of weeks previously when Lona had told her over lunch that she and Elmer had, had a chat and she had given him no reason to doubt that she wanted him out of her life as much as he possibly could be for good because anything he thought there could be between them would be a mistake.

"He is..." She whispered. "I hurt him so badly that he can't even bear to look at me anymore."

"Isn't that what you wanted? You wanted him out of your life because he thought you had something worth pursuing and you weren't so sure. You just said that you think that he's a child..."

"Don't you?" Lona asked quietly, looking at her friend who was now studying a stain on the floor beneath her feet.

"When this hospital needed him, no matter how much he protested Elmer was there. He helped to save The Kingdom and Mary, not to mention all of the other poor children who had perished in that mill in the time before. He played a part in their salvation and I believe that it helped him grow up. Elmer's still Elmer. He's still...unique..." Christine told her friend with a smile. "But that experience and your words...he's more of a man than he was Lona."

"Is he okay?" Lona asked. She could feel the redness spreading across her cheeks. She knew that she was making her true feelings for the man who had once tormented her so much with his professions of love and his endless badgering her in regards to his feelings for her obvious, but she couldn't help but ask.

"He's been despondent but he's coping. He's discovered a newfound passion for his job and he's doing okay. His father can't believe the change in him. He's been spending a lot of time with Hook. He's a lot easier to be around. I guess the events of recent weeks have made him take life more seriously. I guess we've all seen firsthand how fragile it is."

Lona rested a hand on her stomach and looked down at it tearfully. They had all seen how fragile life was, and there she was planning on extinguishing the one which was growing inside of her that very afternoon.

"You care about him don't you?" Chris asked her, pulling her out of her reverie.

Lona looked at her friend. She opened her mouth to say no, no she did not but instead the opposite came out of her mouth and the feelings she had been trying to hide were suddenly out in the open.

"Yes. Yes I care about him and I hate that I do. He's so young Chris. I'm older than him and I have so much more to lose by caring the way that I do. ..The respect of his father for one thing. I'm so angry with him right now that I feel as though I can barely breathe without wanting to walk up to him and socking him in the face."

"Why? If he's staying away from you like you wanted..." Chris asked and she was stopped midsentence by the pale Lona grabbing the waste bin off the floor beside her and emptying the contents of her stomach into it as it heaved.

When she was sure that she had finished Lona placed the waste bin on the floor. She shakily took a fresh tissue from Chris and looked her friend in the eye as she wiped her mouth.

"After we all went for coffee that night...morning, whatever you want to call it...when we decided to go home, Elmer and I both went back to the hospital to get our things. He walked me to the sleep lab to pick up my belongings and I guess the emotions of the days prior to it got the better of us. One thing led to another and we..."

"You what?" Christine asked confused.

"Don't make me say it...we...you know..." Lona prompted and she watched her friends face as what she was being told clicked into place.

"You and Elmer...you slept together?" Chris asked her, her mouth in a large O shape as she looked at her friend disbelievingly, searching her face for any sign that it was a joke.

Lona nodded and Chris closed her mouth, sensing that her friend had more to say and letting her carry on.

"I thought that it would be meaningless. I thought I would be able to act like it hadn't happened afterwards. That it was just a way to release the tension...to feel close to someone after everything that had happened to us. He had feelings for me. I knew that and I'd started to soften towards him during the time we spent together in the sleep lab study and on the day when you all went to the Old Kingdom to help those children. I didn't realise I'd softened so much...I pushed him away because I was scared. I was afraid for my reputation. I was afraid of what Louis would say. God I was afraid of people not being able to take me seriously because if it happened again, even if we ever admitted to spending the night together, I was afraid that people might see me as a joke who made a terrific error of judgement. I figured if I pushed him away and said that was that I could get on with my life, pretend it had never happened and we could both have our careers and I could keep my reputation. I knew he'd be hurt but I knew he'd get over it eventually."

"You did that even though you care for him?" Chris asked.

Lona looked at the floor and nodded.

"But it didn't work that way. I can't act like it didn't happen even if he can. Even though I've made him do that. I'm angry because..." Lona started but then felt emotion overcome her again.

"Because..." Chris prompted, placing a hand over Lona's trembling one which rested on her stomach.

"Because right now...under our hands...I'm carrying Elmer's baby. We made life on the day that you all saved so many more. I'm angry because I've made the choice to terminate our child this afternoon...a child that I never wanted us to make...a choice I never wanted to have to make in my life and which up until now I've never had to. I'm pregnant Chris...and I'm terminating my baby today."

"Oh Lona..." Chris whispered, feeling her friends fingertips dig into her stomach protectively.

"It feels like it's some sort of sick joke. I thought I was well past motherhood. I thought one night would be of no consequence to either of us. I never really wanted it to mean anything. I was happy pretending to be oblivious to my feelings and to his. But I care about him and now there's a baby involved and I've pushed him away..."

"If Elmer knew there was a baby Lona he would forget all about that and he would take care of you both." Christine told her softly. "He'd do it in his own unique way, but he would never run away from the responsibility of being father to a child that you mothered. I take it you haven't told him?"

Lona shook her head.

"It would hurt him too much to be told that I'm carrying his child and that I'm going to terminate it on the very same day. I wouldn't want to tell him that he was going to be a father just to steal it away from him again so soon afterwards. I can see the look on his face now. It'd tear him apart."

"You're really going to abort his child without even telling him it exists?" Chris asked softly and she could feel tears building behind her own eyes. She truly felt for Lona, but she felt for the oblivious Elmer a little more.

"Don't judge me please. I know it sounds terrible...but if it hurts me this much to terminate our baby, imagine how it would hurt someone as sensitive as him."

"Lona if it's going to hurt you that much why are you even terminating? You said yourself that you thought you were past motherhood. What if this is your chance? Your one chance to be a mommy to a little boy...to a little girl like Mary?"

"Because it's his." Lona told her tearfully. "Because if I have this baby I'm going to be tied to Elmer forever and I just don't know if I can be." She admitted, breaking down in tears again.

Christine wheeled her chair closer to Lona and rubbed her friend's stomach gently.

"Baby Traff is in here Lona. That's something you can't escape from. She's making you tired. She's making you nauseous..."

"She's making my breasts so tender that I don't even know how to walk without them feeling like they're going to explode." Lona offered with a small smile as she let herself wonder if the child she was carrying inside of her was indeed a little girl or a boy.

"Sure you can terminate her, you can keep Elmer in the dark, you can push him away and you can live your life pretending that you were never carrying a baby and that you didn't have any feelings for its father. If that's what makes you happy then you need to do it and I will support you...but you could also embrace this pregnancy. You could be a mommy Lona. You could tell Elmer, ignore anybody who might have anything negative to say about it and you could have a go at being a family...because who cares what other people think when we've seen how quickly life can be taken away? There are more important things in life than worrying about the opinions of others who mean nothing to us. This is your child. If you care about her and her father, maybe trying to be a family is worth a shot."

Both women sat in silence mulling over what Christine had said. Lona couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to continue with the pregnancy, how she and Elmer would cope as the stomach which housed their child grew. How their relationship would change if she told him that he was going to be a daddy and that she was carrying his child within her womb. She couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to feel the baby kick and move inside of her or how it would be to feel her baby hiccupping as she lay in bed waiting to drift off to sleep. Would Elmer be a doting father to be? Would he talk to the child that she was carrying inside of her and hold his hands over her rounded stomach as the child wriggled and somersaulted? What would it be like to hold a baby in her arms after she had given birth knowing that it was not only a piece of her but a piece of Elmer too? Their child. Would he be there throughout the pregnancy? Would he love his child as much as she knew she could if she continued with it? She had so many questions. Still she was absolutely terrified of just how much this would change her life.

"You said she. Why do you think...?" Lona asked quietly as she looked down at her and Chris' hands, suddenly hit by the seriousness of the situation again.

"Because of Mary. It just feels...right saying that it's a girl, even more so because you conceived on the day we gave Mary peace. Don't you think?" Chris asked knowing that it sounded strange, but Lona nodded in agreement.

"I always wanted a little girl. It was just never the right time and there was never the right man. How can Elmer be the right man to bring a child into the world with Chris? Elmer who up until recently has been so messed up? Could he really be a father to our daughter? Could I let him into my life and have this baby?"

"I can't tell you what to do. I wish that I knew what was best but I don't. All I know is that you have to be sure. Baby Traff is in there. Terminating her won't take away the fact that she did exist if only for a little while. You've just got to weigh up whether terminating this baby and saying goodbye to Elmer means more to you than having a family with someone who you care about...who I think you could love." Chris replied, squeezing her friends hand reassuringly and getting up.

Lona felt the tears start to fall again as she considered the mess that her life had become. They had all felt so good about helping Mary; about helping all of those children. Who could have known that she and Elmer would have ended up in such a predicament due to their mutual relief and need for comfort.

"I have to go and meet Hook. If you want me to come with you...for the termination...I will. I think you should talk to Elmer though. He deserves to know Lona."

Lona shook her head and again tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"I can't tell him Chris...and I can't have her. I just want things back the way they were before I knew that she existed."

"But she does." Chris told Lona softly, noticing that her friends hand was still on her stomach and placing hers on top again, once again giving it a gentle squeeze. "And I'm not sure you can pretend when she's gone that she didn't exist...not to yourself or to Elmer..." She said quietly, squeezing Lona's hand once again before leaving the sullen and emotional Doctor alone in the dark with her thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

(Disclaimer in part 1).

Chris Draper lay on the bed in Hook's Kingdom in the arms of the man that she loved, a man who was currently staring at her back intently with concern evident on his face. Though she was laying with her back against his chest, holding his arms around her tightly and with her body fitting against his like they were a perfect match, he could tell that there was something on her mind and had taken it upon himself to give her the biggest death stare that he could muster to try and get her to open up about it. He hated to see her so sad, and he could tell that she was hurting about something. He would do anything he could to fix it because he loved her more than he had ever loved a person in his life but no matter how hard he had tried to get her to open up she wouldn't. He felt at a total loss and he hated being in a position where he didn't know what to do.

"Please tell me what's wrong." He leaned over and whispered into her ear, kissing her cheek softly and resting his cheek against hers. "Is it us?" he then asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Chris felt as though her heart was breaking when she heard the fear in his voice that had come from his thinking that he was losing her. She immediately turned over so that she was facing him and cupped his cheeks with her hands.

"It's not us. I promise you that. We're good." She reassured. "How could you even think that it's us that's worrying me?"

"Because you won't tell me what is." He replied. He leaned over and kissed her on the nose. "That generally means that what's bothering you involves the person that you're with."

"Not today it doesn't. I love you. You make me happy. It's not us. Cross my heart." She told him, taking his hand in hers and placing it over her heart. She meant every word. She hadn't been looking for a relationship and as she'd told him back at the start of theirs she'd just come out of a difficult one, but something about him had swept her away and once she had found her way into those arms she never wanted to leave them again.

"Then tell me. Please. Maybe I can help." He whispered, stroking her hair away from her face and taking her hand which was still entwined in his to his lips and kissing it softly.

"You can't. I can't. No one can. It's an awful situation." She whispered, sighing as he pulled her close to him and kissed her on top of the head.

"What is sweetheart?" He asked and when she looked up into those eyes so full of love and concern she knew that although she should keep it to herself she couldn't. She needed to know how to help Lona and she needed to know what to do for the best in regards to the man whose baby Lona was carrying inside of her.

"Lona Massingale...she...God I shouldn't be telling you this. Forget I ever..."

"Listen to me. " Hook soothed as a tear rolled down Chris' cheek. "This is obviously hurting you. Whatever's going on with Lona you want to help her. Let me help you to figure out how..."

"She's pregnant. She's pregnant and she's terminating the baby this afternoon...and I'm not sure she even wants to. I think she's doing it for totally the wrong reasons and in the long run she's going to end up finding it incredibly hard to live with the fact that she's terminated that child."

"Wow." Hook whispered, momentarily stunned into silence. "Lona's pregnant? I didn't see that one coming. Who's the daddy? Do you know?" He asked her softly and when she looked down at her feet he knew that she did.

"Who? It's not Steg is it? The last thing we need is the spawn of Steg being..."

"It's Elmer Traff." Chris interrupted and once again Hook was stunned into silence. "She's carrying Elmer's child."

"Does he know?" Hook asked, the shock still evident on his face.

"No he doesn't. There's the problem. She's not even going to tell him that she's pregnant. She's going to terminate it and pretend that it didn't even happen. It's going to eat her alive if she goes through with the termination. She cares for that baby. I could see it in the way she sat there with her hand on her stomach...like she was trying to protect it from herself or something."

"Poor Elmer." Hook commented, sitting up in bed and rubbing his hands over his face.

"And poor Lona...and their baby...What's worse is she cares about him. About Elmer. She's so afraid of what people will think and that it won't work that she won't even give it a chance. They could be a little family but she's so scared..."

"It is an unlikely match." Hook commented and Chris sighed. "But then they made a baby and that's...that's amazing."

Chris noticed Hooks glance fall on to her own flat stomach and she knew that he was thinking about their having their own family one day. It was something that she thought about too. Something that excited her. Thinking of him fathering their child felt so right to her. She couldn't help but wish Lona was so sure about her little girl.

"Do you think Elmer would be a good father? You spend more time with him now than anyone. Do you think he could be a good father to his child?"

"I don't think he'd be bad. He loves Lona...even now after she pushed him away he worships the ground that she walks on. He would do anything for her. I think that if he knew that she was carrying his baby...a little person that they made...I don't think that there would be anything more perfect in Elmer's eyes. That boy's grown up so much already. Helping Mary gave him purpose. This child could be what makes him the man that we know he could be."

"I'm not sure he'd ever forgive her if he found out that she'd terminated his child. I'm worried about what it would do to him. In so many ways he's still so fragile. The fact that she cares so much about both Elmer and the child makes it so much worse."

Hook got up out of the bed and pulled on a pair of trousers and a shirt. He brushed his hair down and kissed Chris on the cheek tenderly.

"Where are you going?" She asked him quietly, though deep down she already knew the answer.

"To find Elmer. He deserves the chance to fight for his child and Lona needs to see that he's going to do that."

"Do you think that he will?" Chris asked, propping herself up on her elbow and watching as the man that she loved made his way to the door.

"Do you think I'd leave the bed containing the woman that I loved if I didn't think so?" Hook replied, blowing her a kiss and mouthing a love you before climbing onto his cart and making his way back into the hospital where he hoped he could find Elmer before Lona made a terrible mistake.


	3. Chapter 3

Hook knocked on the door to the on-call room where Otto had told him that Elmer had gone to get some sleep. The young man had been working for the last twelve hours and due to his shift and the tiredness that came with the hurt of losing someone that you care about had taken it upon himself to find somewhere to sleep before he screwed up even more than he had when Mary had come along and changed everything for them all.

"Elmer?" Hook called, putting his ear against the door so that he could listen for movement.

"Go away." Came a familiar and muffled voice from inside.

Hook smiled ignoring the young man's protestations. He walked into the room and perched himself on the edge of the bed in which Elmer was now covering his head with the pillow, trying to ignore the person who had entered.

"Wakey wakey sleeping beauty. I have something to tell you that you need to hear."

"Can it wait Hook? I'm exhausted." Elmer asked the older man, pulling the pillow down so that Hook was able to see how red his eyes were from upset and from lack of sleep.

Hook sighed, wishing he could just let the young man sleep. He looked so exhausted; so drained because of Lona and the increased attention that he was giving to his work. Not only were his eyes red and puffy but they were also bloodshot and his face was pale. He wished with all of his heart that he could just walk away rather than inflicting more hurt on the tired soul beside him.

"It can't. If I wait it's going to be too late. It concerns Lona..." Hook told the man looking at the floor. He felt so guilty for breaking Lona's trust in Chris but he knew that she needed this to be done and so did Elmer.

Elmer immediately sat up in the bed, his eyes wide.

"Lona? Is she...? Nothing's happened to her has it?" He asked panicked, fumbling for his glasses on the cabinet at the bedside.

"Not as such no."

"Is she sick? What's going on?" Elmer asked, looking more awake than he had for weeks.

"Elmer I need you to sit down..."

"Hook, I am sitting down." Elmer replied frowning.

"Yeah..." Hook responded uncomfortably. "Look there's no easy way to say this but...Lona...she's pregnant Elmer."

"Pregnant?" Elmer whispered softly. "With whose baby?"

Hook sighed. Surely this should be easier.

"Yours Elmer. Why else would I be sitting at your beside breaking it to you gently?"

Elmer sat open mouthed looking even paler than he had when Hook had first seen him.

"Is everything okay...with the baby? Is that why you're here? Has she miscarried?" Elmer asked and Hook noted that this was the first intelligent moment that their conversation had exhibited.

"No she hasn't. Don't worry about that." Hook reassured, looking at the floor again.

"Why didn't she tell me? I'm gonna be a dad?"

Hook continued to look at the floor and Elmer felt his heart jump into his throat.

"I'm not gonna be a dad am I?" Elmer commented and Hook looked up at the man with what appeared to be tears in his eyes, the young man's eyes mirroring his own.

"Lona's scared Elmer. This pregnancy was completely unexpected for her, particularly for someone a little older than some other parent's. I don't know how to say this to you and I wish I didn't have to but...she's going to have a termination this afternoon."

"A term...she's going to abort my child?" Elmer replied and there was both shock and anger on his face. He clenched his fists into balls. "She wasn't going to tell me was she?"

"She felt it was better that you didn't know. She didn't want to disappoint you by giving you fatherhood and then taking it away."

"She didn't want to disappoint me?" Elmer echoed, climbing out of bed and angrily pacing the room. "How could she want to do that? To our baby?" He added tearfully. "How?" He asked again softly, falling to his knees on the floor.

"Chris seems to think that the termination isn't what Lona really wants. I'm here because this is your child, and you deserve the chance to fight for it. Maybe that's what Lona needs to happen to be able to see that she's not alone here."

"I'm so angry with her. I've never felt so angry."

"I know. I understand that. But there's a woman feeling very scared and very confused who is going to be making her way to Gynaecology soon and what I want to know is what are you going to do about it?"

Elmer sighed and rested his head in his hands.

"She doesn't care about me Hook. Not the way that I care about her. How can I stop her terminating the child of a man that she doesn't love?"

Hook got up from where he was sitting on the bed and walked over to Elmer. He knelt down at the man's side.

"Sometimes people are scared to admit their true feelings. Not everyone's as open as you are. How do you know that deep down, under all that bravado, that Lona Massingale doesn't love you as much as you love her?"

Elmer shrugged and looked tearfully at the floor.

"Do you want to be a father Elmer?" He asked the young man quietly.

Elmer looked at Hook and nodded.

"Yes. Yes I want to be a father." Elmer said truthfully, his voice shaking with both anger and fear.

"Well then. Again what I want to know is...what are you going to do about it?"


	4. Chapter 4

Lona sat in the Gynaecology waiting room surrounded by women at all different stages of pregnancy. Some were with their partners, excitedly talking about the sonograms that they were waiting for, while their partners sat with their hands on their stomachs in awe of the fact that the woman that they loved was carrying their child. Some were alone and looking absolutely terrified, their hands caressing their rounding belly's to provide some means of comfort; whether to themselves or to their unborn child Lona was unsure. There were young girls crying into their mothers shoulders, some undoubtedly here to do something that they didn't want to do. Then there was Lona, not far enough along to be showing yet, having only discovered that she was pregnant a week ago; an older parent having made the decision to terminate the only child that she had ever found herself carrying in her life.

Lona sighed and rested her head in her hands. She could feel the tears burning behind her eyes again as she thought of the little girl that she and Chris had been so sure that she was having, the little girl whose daddy was absolutely oblivious to her being here and who would remain that way because Lona wanted nothing more than to protect him from what she was about to do. She thought of the child within her who was wanted but who just couldn't be born due to the crippling fear that was consuming her mother. She felt so guilty; not only about Elmer but about the fact that inside of her was what would soon grow to be a tiny little person and there she was ready to extinguish the little life that she and Elmer had so unexpectedly made. She would be a good mother. She was sure of that. Her thoughts were already consumed by the child within her and nothing else, a child who she pictured herself holding tightly in her arms after her birth breathing in that baby smell as she marvelled over her tiny fingers and toes. Who she could picture herself watching take her first steps, listening as she said momma and dadda as Elmer stood in awe at her side. She was just so scared. Scared of a new life that would tie her to Elmer, that involved a child she never expected to have, that may possibly involve her being ridiculed by those that they worked with due to her carrying a child that belonged to one of its more unique employees. Could she terminate the baby and have things back the way that they were before? Or would she regret this decision for the rest of her life.

"Please just give me a sign?" She pleaded with no one in particular as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Are you okay?" An unfamiliar voice asked at her side.

Lona turned to see a young woman sat next to her, who had obviously taken the seat when she was so lost in her thoughts. She looked to be about five months pregnant but something wasn't right. Her blonde curls hung limply around her shoulders and her eyes were red, it appeared from crying. They were bright blue eyes and at that moment they were locked on Lona and full of concern.

"I'm fine." Lona lied, wiping her eyes. "Hormones." She added.

The young girl gave her a sympathetic nod.

"I understand all about those. I'm Ashleigh." She told the older woman offering her hand, shifting her position in the chair so that she was a bit more comfortable.

"Lona." Lona replied giving the girls hand a shake.

"Nice to meet you." Ashleigh replied looking down at her stomach sadly and then placing a hand on the bump which housed her child.

"How far along are you? If you don't mind me asking." Lona questioned, studying the young woman's expression as it changed to one of complete sadness.

"I was five months. Almost six...but I guess...I'm not anymore." She said softly, looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't pry." Lona apologised, studying her hands.

"No, it's okay. I should start to get used to answering peoples questions. When you're five months pregnant one day and then you're not...you're gonna have to learn to start explaining." Ashleigh responded tearfully, wiping tears away from her cheeks.

Lona didn't know what to say. Her hands fell to her stomach where they rested protectively. She caressed her as yet none existent bump with her fingertips, her head full of thoughts about her unborn child.

"She stopped moving two days ago. She was a really active girl. Always kicking...always wriggling and then one day she just...stopped. I came here and they did a sonogram and they told me...they said that she'd died...so I'm here to give birth to her today. I have to give birth to my child who is never gonna breathe, never gonna see her mommy and daddy or the world she was meant to be a part of."

"I'm so sorry." Lona answered tearfully, placing a hand on the young woman's shoulder as the guilt over the impending termination began to eat away at her even more than it already had.

"I'm going to call her Lily. She deserves to have a name. She was alive for a little while. Just because she won't be when she's born doesn't make her any less of a person...any less my child."

"Lily's a beautiful name." Lona agreed.

Ashleigh gave her a small smile.

"I told my family last night. They try and comfort you. They tell you its okay, you can have more. But you don't want more. When there's a child inside of you all you want is that one baby. The one that you form a bond with as it grows and moves. Anything could happen that could make this my only chance to have my baby...but she's gone."

"The world can be a cruel place." Lona told the young woman softly, wondering if this was her one chance to have the child she had yet never brought into the world. A child she had never considered having in all of her days until she was faced with the unplanned pregnancy which had torn her apart.

"The cruellest." Ashleigh agreed, giving a young man with a tearstained face entering the room a small smile. He sat down at Ashleigh's side and placed an arm around her, kissing her tenderly on the cheek.

"This is Lily's father Samuel. Sam this is Lona."

"Hey." He answered, offering Lona a shaking hand.

"I'm sorry about your daughter." Lona told him quietly, not knowing what else to say.

Sam nodded and Lona watched a tear roll down his cheek. Thoughts of Elmer suddenly filled her head. How would he react if he found out about her terminating their child? Would he be as broken as Sam knowing that she had terminated a part of him? Would she be as broken as Ashleigh knowing that she had terminated the little person that was growing inside of her that wasn't only part of Elmer but part of her as well? She knew that their situations were completely different, but seeing how losing their child had affected this lovely young couple; how precious their baby's life was to them...she couldn't help but wonder what she was doing sitting there in essence wishing her own child's life away. She was lucky to be carrying a baby when others were losing theirs.

"How far along are you?" Ashleigh asked.

Lona turned to see that Sam had buried his face into her shoulder. She was stroking his hair to comfort him, trying so hard to be the strong one as her husband broke down beside her.

"Just a few weeks. A month I think."

"I remember being that far along. It's terrifying. Everything's gonna change and your hormones are a wonder if anything's gonna go wrong, what life's going to be like after the baby's born, what you're going to be like..."

Lona nodded.

"Are you here to...? You're obviously not here for a scan so early." Ashleigh asked tearfully. Sam couldn't help but look at her with shock on his face. She knew that it must be hard for parents losing a so wanted baby to consider that somebody else might not be so sure about carrying their own.

"Its father and I...we're complicated and I'm just...I thought those days were long gone. I never imagined that this would happen."

"Ashleigh Miller."

The young couple turned to see a nurse standing in the doorway of the Gynaecology department.

"I guess it's time." Ashleigh remarked, taking a deep breath.

Lona took Ashleigh's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm so sorry." She told the young woman again tearfully.

Ashleigh gave her a small smile as she and Sam got up from their seats.

"At least we got to know what it was like for a little while...to carry our girl. It's so special Lona. Don't make a choice that's wrong for you and her daddy." Ashleigh commented, giving Lona's hand a squeeze before taking her husband's hand in her own and following the nurse to the room where she would be giving birth to the so wanted child that they had lost.

Lona sat in silence, her heart pounding, her eyes burning and her hands clasping her stomach firmly. Her emotions were all over the place and all that she wanted at that moment in time was for everything to stop so that she could take a breath and make the right choice. She was interrupted in her thoughts by a loud crash. Looking to the waiting room entrance she saw Elmer lying on the floor having fallen in his hurry to get to her. He was looking around the room wildly. Her heart jumped into her throat and she looked at the floor.

"Lona?" She heard him call. "Lona don't do this..." He called again and she heard hurried footfalls approaching her. Looking up she saw him the most distraught that he had ever been in all of the time that she had known him. Blood was pouring from a cut on his head, and tracks from dry tears covered his cheeks.

"Elmer..." She whispered softly. "Oh Elmer, look at you."

Elmer reached a hand to his forehead and rested his fingers on the cut. He pulled them away to see that they were covered in blood.

"Please don't do this." He pleaded again, wobbling on his feet.

Lona got up and helped him on to the chair next to her.

"You're gonna need stitches." She told him softly, placing her fingertips on the skin next to the wound.

"I don't care. All I care about is you and our baby. Please don't terminate her." He begged and Lona couldn't help but smile that everyone seemed so sure that it was a little girl that she had been carrying for barely a month. Her daughter.

"You think it's funny?" Elmer asked her and she saw anger appear on his features. "I think it's hilarious that you were going to terminate my child without even telling me you were carrying her. It's a riot." He added sternly, the hurt evident in his voice.

"Elmer..." Lona whispered, taking her hands away from his face and placing them on her lap.

"Hook told me about her you know that? Hook was the one who broke it to me that I was gonna be a father...or not as the case is. I thought it was the mother's responsibility to tell the father that she's having his child? But No. I get a congratulations Elmer, Lona's pregnant but guess what? You're not gonna be a daddy because she's too embarrassed of you to carry your child."

Lona felt her heart break as she heard his words. Elmer had said out loud the very thing that she had been feeling and as she heard him say such words out loud and heard the hurt in his voice she felt the ridiculousness of feeling that way.

"I'm sorry." She whispered tearfully.

"Don't you want to be a mother? Do you really not want her? Or is it me you don't want? You don't want anything that's part of me?"

"I don't know." Lona admitted. "Elmer please, I don't know."

"Why are you here?" He asked her softly, warily placing a hand on her stomach. "She's ours. I would never hurt you. I would never leave you. I know I have a lot to learn, but you could teach me..."

"Elmer we'd never work..." she told him quietly. She found herself unable to look him in the eye.

"How do you know?" He asked her. "How do you know that we wouldn't be an amazing family?"

"How do you know that we would?" Lona replied, looking at his hand which still rested protectively on her stomach.

"Because I love you Lona...and this is our child. We made her together. Don't terminate our baby. Don't terminate her if you think it might be the wrong choice for both of us. Look at me and tell me that you don't care about her...or me."

"Elmer..." Lona started but she was interrupted by a nurse calling her name. "Of course I care about you." She whispered placing a hand on his cheek which was now wet with fresh tears.

"Then please don't do this." Elmer pleaded. "Lona please don't go in there."

Lona got up from her seat and took a long look at the broken man who sat tearfully beside her.

"I'm sorry Elmer." She whispered, taking a deep breath and walking towards the nurse.

"Lona please. You don't want this. I know you don't. Don't do this to yourself! Don't do it to me...or to her! Lona please!" He shouted and the last thing Lona saw before turning her back and walking away was Elmer , his face covered in blood, being cradled in the arms of Hook as he cried for the child that he knew he was probably about to lose.


	5. Chapter 5

Lona shakily walked back into the waiting room, her hand on her stomach and tears burning her eyes. She looked around the room for any sign of Elmer but the chair he had been sitting on was now empty.

"Where..."

"Are you wondering where Doctor Traff went?" The receptionist asked her politely.

Lona turned to face the young woman and nodded.

"Doctor Hook had to take him to Neurology. He passed out not long after you went in to your appointment. Doctor Hook was concerned that it was due to his head injury. He was going to be taken for an MRI."

"I heard the call...I heard them call a team while I was in there..."

"I'm very sorry. Would you like me to phone down and see what Doctor Traff's condition is?"

"No...it's fine. I'll find them. Thank you Lizzy."

The receptionist smiled and continued with her paperwork. Lona meanwhile felt her heart race. It hadn't even occurred to her that Elmer may have done more damage to his head than simply cut it open. She had been so consumed with thoughts of the termination that she hadn't even considered that he could be seriously hurt. She knew about head injuries. She knew how misleading they could be. How a simple thing could do severe damage. She was trained to treat them. How could she not have thought...?

Lona left the department quickly and began down the corridor towards MRI. She stopped only when she saw Christine Draper walking towards her.

"Lona are you...? Did you...?" Christine asked softly noticing her friend's hand once again resting on her stomach and wondering if it was because there was indeed a child still in there or whether it was because she was in discomfort from the termination.

"How's Elmer? Is he down there?" Lona asked; the only thing on her mind at that moment the man who she had left in such a state a little while previously.

"He's already had the scan. It was clear. He's in trauma with Hook now having stitches and nursing a concussion." Christine explained.

Lona nodded sighing with relief, the two women changing direction and making their way to trauma where they would find the men that they loved.

"Are you in any pain?" Christine asked softly and Lona looked at her tearfully.

"Oh Lona." The younger woman whispered, stopping as Lona began to cry and taking her into her arms.


	6. Chapter 6

Lona entered Elmer's cubicle, taking in the sight of the fragile man that lay wrapped in bed sheets in front of her. Hook had stitched up his head wound and had explained to her on her arrival that Elmer was going to be kept overnight for observation due to the concussion he had sustained. He had reasoned that it might be a good thing. The young man was exhausted and when she saw Elmer's tired eyes properly for the first time as she walked to his bedside she felt pangs of guilt as she realised that she had probably contributed to that exhaustion herself.

"Why are you here?" He asked her softly, wincing as she ran her fingers over the bandage that covered the wound on his head.

"You scared me half to death. You know that?" She told him quietly, sitting down beside him.

"I have nothing to say to you." He replied, his voice cold. He rolled onto his side so that his back was facing her, recoiling from her touch.

"Elmer don't turn away from me." She pleaded, letting herself run her fingers through his hair.

"You aborted my child!" He snapped angrily. "I can't even look at you." He muttered into his pillow and she could tell that he was crying.

"Elmer please don't do this..."

"I begged you. I begged for her life...for our life together...I told you that I loved you...and you...you...does it hurt?" He asked her quietly.

"No..." Lona whispered softly, wanting to explain that it was her heart that hurt rather than her stomach.

"That's too bad. You deserve to hurt." He told her angrily. "Leave me alone."

Lona looked at him. At his shoulders that were shaking with silent sobs. She placed a hand on his bicep which was more muscle than a person looking at him would think, and leant over him so that her mouth was over his ear.

"I didn't do it." She told him softly, feeling her own tears begin to fall. "When I got in there I couldn't. I'm still pregnant Elmer. I'm still carrying our child."

Elmer turned over once again so that he was facing her. His mouth was open wide.

"What?" He asked, unable to believe it.

"I couldn't do it. I lay on the bed...I was ready...but all I could think about was how much I wanted to feel her move and grow. How much I wanted you to feel her move and to hold her. How much I wanted to finally be pregnant."

"Then why go there Lona? Why put us through that?"

"Because I needed to. I needed to realise what I wanted. I needed to realise that I was ready. I needed to be scared into doing the right thing."

"Does the right thing even involve me?" He asked quietly, unable to bring his eyes to meet hers. "I understand if it doesn't. I'm the hospitals biggest loser. I'm just glad that you're keeping her."

Lona smiled at his words, so full of relief and concern for his child. She took his hand in hers.

"You're a daddy Elmer. We made her. Of course it involves you. I can't do this on my own." She admitted. "And you're not the hospitals biggest loser. Lona Massingale is bearing your child and Lona Massingale cares for you deeply. I've not told you that before and I should have. I'm sorry."

Elmer reached up with a shaky hand and cupped her cheek with his palm.

"So what do we do now?" Elmer asked her not daring to hope for anything more than playing a small part in his child's life.

"We take each day as it comes. We get through this pregnancy and we raise our child...together."

"As in a couple?" He asked quietly.

Lona took a deep breath, unable to believe how much things had changed since Mary had come along.

"Yes Elmer. As in a couple. I nearly terminated our girl today because I was terrified of what people may think...because things are going to change so much when she arrives. I hadn't planned for this...but when I was in that room, after I saw your face, how much you wanted her, how it didn't matter that I'd pushed you away because when you thought that I needed your intervention not just for her sake but for mine you came right away...I realised that the Elmer I once knew has grown up into a man who deserves to be a father. Who deserves to be given the chance that up until now I haven't been ready to give."

"Do you love me Lona?" He asked her softly and the fear in his voice brought tears to his eyes.

"Yes I love you." She replied honestly cupping his cheeks in her palms and kissing his lips softly. "Never more than I do today after seeing you fight for her...and for us."

"I love you too." He told her sincerely, his gaze falling to her stomach. "Always have." He added looking her in the eye, knowing that she saw the truth in his words.

"I know Elmer." She replied softly, running her fingertips over his pale cheek.

Elmer nervously reached out a hand and placed it over the area which housed their child.

"Hey there baby Massingale. It's your daddy..." he whispered, smiling as Hook and Chris entered the room, their fingers entwined.

"It's baby Traff, Elmer." Lona told him with a smile, looking at Chris and reaching out for her friend's hand. Chris took it and squeezed it.

"It is?"

"It is." She replied, then placing her hand over his.

"Hey there baby Traff..." He repeated, looking up at Lona with a shy and somewhat self conscious smile as he spoke to the unborn child. "Your daddy loves you very much. He just wanted you to know that. So does your beautiful mommy. We're looking forward to meeting you."

"We are. Very much." Lona agreed, overcome by affection towards the young man who lay injured but happy on the bed beside her. "Although I'm going to look like a whale before that happens."

Lona sighed, Elmer reaching his free hand up and running it through her hair.

"You're going to look even more beautiful than you already do and I'm going to make sure that you know that." He reassured her. "If this one looks anything like her mommy she is going to be the prettiest little girl in Maine."

"He's right Lona. She is going to be one stunning kid." Hook told the woman, wincing when Chris elbowed him in the ribs playfully. "Until of course we have a daughter and then she will steal baby Traff's crown."

"You wish Hook." Lona replied. "Thank you...both of you for what you did today. You saved me from making the biggest mistake I could have made... for me, for Elmer and for the baby. I've never felt so guilty."

"Don't do that to yourself. You don't need guilt when you're carrying a child. You made the right choice. That's what you've got to focus on." Christine told her, placing a hand on Lona's shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

"I'm really going to be a mom now." Lona commented as she felt Elmer's hand give her stomach a reassuring rub.

"Yeah Massingale you are." Hook commented. "You're gonna be amazing." He added, leaning down and kissing her on the top of her head.

"You think so?" She asked warily, rubbing her stomach gently as she thought of the child cocooned safely within her womb.

"A woman of your wisdom and beauty? You're going to be fantastic." Hook replied. "And as for its father...I really don't think you have anything to worry about." Hook added as they all watched Elmer who was rubbing Lona's stomach in circular motions, completely mesmerized by impending fatherhood, with a tear rolling down his cheek.

"I think you're right." Lona agreed, leaning over and kissing Elmer on the top of his head.

And he was; because when Mary Rose Traff was born Elmer knew that she was his biggest achievement in his life and her mother the woman he wanted by his side for the rest of their days. He never wanted to lose either of them and wanted to always do his best by them both. On the day Mary was born he proposed to Lona and the very same day she said yes. They had a lot to thank Mary Jensen for. Finding each other's love and bearing their beautiful daughter had been the biggest gifts of all.

The End.


End file.
